Dating for over two years
"A lot of people who are dating in their 50s probably haven't dated since they were [in their 20s] -- they're paralyzed, they still have the old vision of themselves and the old vision of the boys they were dating," Palmer said.
"We all mature -- most of us -- and this is the best time for anyone to date." Though there are new realities to deal with if you're dating after 50 (illness, sandwich generation concerns, menopause or impotence), it shouldn't dampen your love life or make you settle for anyone less than who you deserve.
"It's about undoing 35 years of thoughts, beliefs and truths that don't work anymore," Palmer said.
The relationship expert shared her six-step plan to help women start dating like a grown-up. If you find yourself dating again in your 50s, chances are a major life event -- whether it be divorce or losing your loved one -- has given you quite the beating.
"We need to be proactive in going places where you're going to potentially meet eligible men." Once you've reeled in a man of interest, there are a few things the mature woman dating over 50 needs to know.
"Men don't want to chase women," Palmer said, laughing. men in their 50s and 60s know what they want, they know how to get it, so they don't go for the hard to get stuff." That doesn't mean you have to take the lead, Palmer said, but it does mean it's ok to show you're interested in the person. "They've been rejected since they were 14 years old at the dance.
Of He also seemed to be equally as obsessed with me. On the night we planned on meeting in real life for the first time, I sat in the backseat of a taxi and tugged at the sleeves of my leather jacket, the one I'd worn to come off as as possible.
Compassion is the key to having an enjoyable time when you're dating. "Rendezvous to romance." So you've fallen in love with yourself, created a more realistic and flexible list of the traits you'd like in a partner, broadened your social circle and got the date with a man you're attracted to... "On a first and second date you're not trying to figure out if you're going to marry him," Palmer said with a chuckle. " Fast forward to a future version of yourself who's a few dates in with this new man.
We even friended each other on Facebook (and confessed to stalking each other, too). My friends scoffed at how I could possibly think so much of a man who I hadn't even seen in the flesh yet.
But I unabashedly embraced my affection for him and all the fantasies I was projecting onto the little silver bubbles on my i Phone screen, if only for the possibility of something real.
Women of maturity learn that there are so many different attributes of a man that count so much more." 3. " There's still more "me work" to be done when dating like a grown-up.
There's still the matter of erasing "those recordings that play in your head about men and relationships," Palmer said.
"You want to put your best foot forward [and] you want to show personality." And putting your best foot forward means knowing what "baggage" needs to be checked at the door. You've reached the final step of dating like a grown-up: after all the self-reflection and open conversation "[apply] that to making the decision if they're still a good partner," Palmer said.