Advice for dating a newly divorced man
Lesson: Air grievances before they fester, suggests Kimberly Friedmutter, a life-management coach in Malibu, CA—and be specific. ' explain, 'When you're late for dinner with our friends, I feel embarrassed.'" If you aren't getting across, seek counseling. Technology takes precedence over their relationships. Ever see some guyyapping on his cell, ignoring his wife?Bad move, says Damona Hoffman, a Los Angeles–based relationship coach whose website, Dear Mrs D.com, provides love-life advice.Lesson: Date each other again—even if you have to initiate. "My male divorce clients often say they felt constrained in their marriage, and typically go through a phase doing everything their ex-wife wouldn't allow them to do," says Joleena Louis, a matrimonial attorney in New York City."Tell your husband, 'I'd love it if you'd invite me out," Hoffman says. It'll help us recharge our batteries and focus better when it's time to get back to work." If his job is so demanding that he's chronically short on time, plan an exciting evening close to his workplace, so he doesn't have to spend time traveling. "It's healthy to have some independent interests," points out Friedmutter.6. That's because their marriages didn't include a lot of it, especially as the relationship deteriorated. Ironically, this immaturity stems from their spouses treating them like children."Women tell me, 'I've been warning him for years.' The husband responds, 'But I didn't know she was serious!'" says Michelle Crosby, a family attorney in San Francisco and co-founder of Wevorce, a company dedicated to amicable divorces.If you find yourself interested in dating a divorced man, here are some things that you need to consider. People who have gone through a relationship and failed have considerable emotional baggage they bring along with them. Although the emotional baggage many not necessarily be a negative thing, it pays to know this fact.
I'm here if you want to talk later." That space will help him come around.10. Lesson: "If your husband's leaving for an important meeting, say, 'Don't you look handsome! "Show him you think he's the greatest, and there's nothing he won't do for you," Friedmutter adds.9. We need our husbands to share their innermost thoughts, but men are taught to suppress their emotions, since it's not "manly," Friedmutter says. Lesson: Help your husband learn not to keep things bottled up, Friedmutter says."If he comes home and seems glum, ask what's wrong, but if he's reticent, don't push.If you are about to date a divorced man, it pays to uncover what his motives are.Recently divorced men are not getting into the dating scene in order to start a new relationship. They may not always be keen on starting another relationship challenge after going through the trauma of a divorce.
Not only are computers and cell phones disruptive, but if your husband always texts or e-mails you instead of calling, "it can create distance," she warns.